Hope Radio

I found my wedding picture this weekend. It's incredulous to watch how far from this we have come. I remember we quarreled over the phone on the morning of our wedding about his mom being rude about the cars my father had arranged. I remember his sisters, one a bridesmaid the other maid of honor, not coming over to my home the morning of the wedding, I remember one friend telling me I shouldn't marry him..that I WAS TOO GOOD FOR HIM. I dismissed that, believing deeply that just the reverse was true and excusing away his family's behavior though neither pattern of belief served me in the least being the unbelievably slow ass learner that I am. One of the reasons I was so reluctant to divorce was because I thought I was such a mess and Tony was the noble, upright one. I couldn't possibly be anything, but mistaken about what I needed or wanted and woefully selfish to entertain it. That lonely, trapped state of mind was a living hell. Now I look at all the hateful, petty

School is tough. I dont send kids to the office or complain, but here I will: NO SUPPLIES. NO COMPUTER ACCESS. A FIGHT NEARLY EVERYDAY. COMPETING FOR THIS JOB. ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THIS JOB WHEN I DONT HAVE THE TOOLS, YET TO DO MY JOB. Whats my job you ask? Taking attendance, meeting modification plans, planning lessons, making discipline referrals, maintaining classroom procedures, knowing where each kid goes after and before school. All this stuff and more requires computer access, a mailbox, virtual and real, tape, scissors, stapler, file folders, sticky notes, a calendar, resources for extending lessons and some semblance of an idea asap so i can be ready for testing in two weeks. Yeah. Not going to happen in time. The boss is still interviewing. I realize I accidentally capped some of all that but fuck it thats how it sounds in my head so what the hell. Tony, let's just call stoic who he is, got a new computer and wifi at his mom's but he is refusing to allow the kids to

Knight and i had a long as in day long off and on...possibly two day long conversation about where all this was headed between us. Most would say given that we met while married and wanting to leave marriages for a chance at a better life has a karmic or God/moral debt that the mortgage on our relationship wont be able to sustain. Ok. I get it. The thing is here we are. Still together. I spent some time trying to run Knight off in the beginning. He was so sweet. He texted all the time. Told me what he thought of me...of us. As we switched gears between platonic and not so platonic he never wavered. We remained close. When we broke it off, it didn't last very long. The first time we tried it while his wife was still out of state. We made it three days. The second time it was about three weeks after she returned when he thought he should give it a try. That lasted about six days, and here recently, we considered it again. I know he misses his kids and struggles with feel

School is going well. They are a huge challenge behaviorally, but I enjoy it and frankly, I'm good with knuckleheads... *facepalm* Okay...USUALLY good. My only bump in the road was today when I left a faculty meeting I didn't find out about until noon time to attend a meeting at my children's school. The Assistant Principal, immediately birddogged me out and WTFd me in so many words. I explained what I just told you. She then reiterated her issue (BUT THIS IS A FACULTY MEETING!)) which is what people do when you haven't complied (READ HERE: turned around and gone back into the meeting properly chastized,) to which I answered that I wasn't on faculty, I was a sub with no computer priveleges,email accounts or GISD system access--not faculty meaning not privy to memos, emails or team meetings nor was I being compensated for those hours. I politely and cheerfully pointed out that I had been more than happy to give her an hour and a half of my personal time as

Here is the latest assholery... Oh but, before we go into THAT, did I mention he called me at 5:59am this morning to, I assume, think he was busting me for Knight's truck being in the driveway before 6am? Nice try, Stoic, but last night, Knight was on a major call with the Marine Dive Team, which he commands, AND I WENT WITH HIM TO GALVESTON, in case it wound up not taking all night. It was his night off and we were hoping to salvage our plans which is why I went. Laws of Physics and cloning limitations make it difficult to drive a police vehicle AND a personal one at the same time, but I appreciate Stoic's impression of his current super powers. I think Knight's pretty cool myself. I'll be sure to pass on Stoic's high esteem and regards. Anyway. A for effort . Next time I see Stoic, he gets a sticker! And now to our regularly scheduled idiocy. Stoic: Comcast said that $294.16 is due by Sept 8 or service will be cutoff  Me: It was not something we agreed I&#