Know thy enemy
BIG BIG SIGH...
So the war is on.
Unfortunately.
Bad:
My attorney didn't file and then went on vacation and didn't tell me.
Stoic filed on me instead.
He brought his brother over to the house on Saturday morning to hang out and pick up the kids to take them to his mom's for Saturday and Sunday. (One kid had changed their mind about going over and so the others went along with my total support.) Brother harassed and taunted me. Read the kids a letter from Tony and asked them if they had any questions to which I responded that they had plenty but wouldn't be comfortable answering them while he was there. He basically said tough he was staying. Tried to boss the kids around and generally be an asshole. (On the way over to grandma's after they got sick of being brother dicks at my house, Stoic's brother asked the kids if they had had enough to eat because it didn't look like they had gotten to eat very much.
I called my my significant other, we'll call him Knight and because of bad comms I understood there was nothing I could do...though I could have. I felt intimidated, in my own home by he and Stoic when they used their bodies' to invade my space and make me move by proximity.
Stoic, my husband, made the pick up/ drop off difficult and was visibly and physically angry when he saw Knight's patrol unit in the driveway. Knight had broken a key off in the trunk's key cylinder when he stopped on Saturday afternoon to pick up his laundry and had no way of moving the unit until Monday. Stoic went at the unit so hard with his hands and feet, the vibration from hitting the windows shook the unit's camera from it's mount, breaking it.
Stoic's family has taken to multiple drive-bys daily.
Good:
The kids want to stay with me.
The kids see through the games Stoic's family is playing in suddenly being so hands on with them when they have never had a significant relationship with them before and when they ask questions or make suggestions that I am a bad mom.
Knight has been really patient while I worried about things I could do nothing about.
I found a much better attorney.
I'm less hamstrung by trying to keep Stoic's feelings and health as a primary concern when it's clear he wouldn't pee on me if I was on fire.
I'm working in earnest at looking for a job and don't have the distractions of caring for Stoic.
Because of the behavior over the weekend, I won't have to let the kids go over to the grandmother's house until after the court date at the end of August.
I know my enemies now.
It makes the fight more fair now that my ROE isn't nearly as compromised by concern for maintaining fairness in the face of those who have no interest in fairness whatsoever.
More later.
Have to go back to see my attorney.
.
So the war is on.
Unfortunately.
Bad:
My attorney didn't file and then went on vacation and didn't tell me.
Stoic filed on me instead.
He brought his brother over to the house on Saturday morning to hang out and pick up the kids to take them to his mom's for Saturday and Sunday. (One kid had changed their mind about going over and so the others went along with my total support.) Brother harassed and taunted me. Read the kids a letter from Tony and asked them if they had any questions to which I responded that they had plenty but wouldn't be comfortable answering them while he was there. He basically said tough he was staying. Tried to boss the kids around and generally be an asshole. (On the way over to grandma's after they got sick of being brother dicks at my house, Stoic's brother asked the kids if they had had enough to eat because it didn't look like they had gotten to eat very much.
I called my my significant other, we'll call him Knight and because of bad comms I understood there was nothing I could do...though I could have. I felt intimidated, in my own home by he and Stoic when they used their bodies' to invade my space and make me move by proximity.
Stoic, my husband, made the pick up/ drop off difficult and was visibly and physically angry when he saw Knight's patrol unit in the driveway. Knight had broken a key off in the trunk's key cylinder when he stopped on Saturday afternoon to pick up his laundry and had no way of moving the unit until Monday. Stoic went at the unit so hard with his hands and feet, the vibration from hitting the windows shook the unit's camera from it's mount, breaking it.
Stoic's family has taken to multiple drive-bys daily.
Good:
The kids want to stay with me.
The kids see through the games Stoic's family is playing in suddenly being so hands on with them when they have never had a significant relationship with them before and when they ask questions or make suggestions that I am a bad mom.
Knight has been really patient while I worried about things I could do nothing about.
I found a much better attorney.
I'm less hamstrung by trying to keep Stoic's feelings and health as a primary concern when it's clear he wouldn't pee on me if I was on fire.
I'm working in earnest at looking for a job and don't have the distractions of caring for Stoic.
Because of the behavior over the weekend, I won't have to let the kids go over to the grandmother's house until after the court date at the end of August.
I know my enemies now.
It makes the fight more fair now that my ROE isn't nearly as compromised by concern for maintaining fairness in the face of those who have no interest in fairness whatsoever.
More later.
Have to go back to see my attorney.
.
Your enemy, your foe, your problem has never been Stoic. It has been his family. So go on the attack. Get as dirty with them as you can. Make their life miserable. But do not use the kids. Warn them of their plans, but do not put their dad down. ATTACK!
ReplyDeleteConcerning divorce my opinion is that you have to be tough, even brutal, to protect yourself... But the kids have to be everyone's priority... I know that goes without saying because you are a great mom... My gracious you are in a sh*tty situation...
ReplyDeleteYou're doing good. You won the kids' respect and loyalty and that means you've won most of the battle already.THEY are number one anyway after all. And when butthead bro starts pulling that invading your space crap, widen your stance, cross your arms or put em firmly on your hips, cock your head, grin and stare him down. If he gets too close, TELL him firmly to back off. If he doesn't, tell him he's close to committing assault. If he EVER raises his voice at you or bumps you or brushes into you, document it and get legal on his ass. I've been through this stuff with buddies back when I was in the Air Force and legally, women ALWAYS have more power than the man. Use that power. If your lawyer is weak ass then get a new one. Hell Hope, have some fun with this crap. Turn it into a game and WIN the damned game. Get evil. You GOT this girl! You ain't no victim.
ReplyDelete